Plumpy’s Pierogies @ Quinn’s

Last Saturday, Quinn’s market in Archibald had a weekend long event entitled “Come Sale Away.” This event included free samples from various vendors, performances by local children’s dance studios, local bands, and most pertinent to me, a pierogie eating contest.

            Worried that there would be a limit to the number of entrants, I arrived early on the warm, sunny, Saturday morning. The first one there, I was dismayed when I learned there had been a wing eating competition the night before sponsored by Quaker Steak and Lube. The challenge had consisted of eight wings and two minutes. The wings must be cleaned to the bone, including gristle. The owner a Plumpy’s pierogies was the winner, taking home a $25 Quinn’s gift card and another gift card for Quaker Steak and Lube.

            Saturday’s festivities were attended by 11 competitors. About three times as many spectators gathered around to watch us stuff our faces. For any of you who don’t know, a pierogie is a “boiled, baked or fried dumpling of unleavened dough traditionally stuffed with potato filling, sauerkraut, ground meat, cheese, or fruit. Of central and eastern European provenance, they are usually semicircular, but are rectangular or triangular in some cuisines” (Wikipedia). These happened to be filled with potato, as is most common in the Northeast PA area, and were deep fried. This presented a different challenge than the sautéed with butter and onion variety.

The crispy, deep fried kind requires a different strategy. They are dry, soaking up the saliva in your mouth, making you unable to swallow them. I address this issue two ways. The first was dumping water over them (they were served in a tray) just as I received them. This only partially worked, as I was eating them so fast, the pierogies did not have time to soak up the water. To combat this, I had to mash the dumplings with my hand before stuffing my face. This also reduced the amount I had to chew before I could swallow. As with all speed eating, I had extra water standing by, as my natural liquid was insufficient to choke (literally) down the potato and dough.

We had three minutes to consume as many as we could. Plates of eight were set in front of us, with additional plates of five were standing by. For a grueling three minutes, I soaked, mashed, chewed, choked, and swallowed 20.5 of the potato-filled dumplings, beating out the other 10 gluttons. With my gift card in hand, pictures were taken and are apparently up on the Toyota Scranton Facebook page, though I was unable to locate it.